God Floods UK & USA for Trying to Play God in Middle-East

Cows in a Bad Wind

A statement from the pearly gates indicates that God has been the cause of Hurricane Bertha, resulting in floods and heavy winds across much of the UK and USA.

The punishment was bestowed upon the two countries after further claims that they have been supplying weapons into both Iraq and the Gaza region.

The statement from God read – “It’s completely out of order that these ‘Western’ countries think they can do my job in trying to turn the Middle East into a game of chess. It’s difficult enough trying to manage the world without these distractions.”

“I did an Earthquake in Japan recently; nobody even noticed…”

The heavy wind and rain has caused surfers to spend days indoors in Hawaii, stopped a day of Golf in America and flooded some roads in the UK.

“I had sandstorms planned for both Iraq and Gaza to try and calm things down a bit but this incessant meddling really has disrupted my productivity.”

Dakota Fannycycle

Dakota Fannycycle

Reporter at Newspoof
Dakota Fannycycle is our far too industrious reporter from the United States of America. She can typically be found at her desk, furiously writing nonsense at unfathomable rates. In her spare time, she sits silently in a dark room for 12 hours, waiting for work to start again.
Dakota Fannycycle