Fat Celebs File Lawsuit Against iCloud Hackers

A number of grossly obese celebrities have filed a lawsuit against the iCloud hackers – who have leaked hundreds of attractive celebrities nude photos – after questioning why their accounts weren’t also hacked and accusing the hackers or being ‘fatists’

Hundreds of nude celebrity photos have been leaked over the last month from numerous iCloud accounts causing a storm for Apple, PR agents and not least, the dozens of celebs who have had their privacy invaded.

Newspoof has spent countless hours reviewing the images and immediately (almost immediately) recognised the lack of fat celebs in the line-up. When the fat celebs found out that none of them made the cut, there was uproar…

Queen Latifah & Rosie O’Donnell were the first to publicly denounce the ‘fatism’. “Intentionally not hacking the accounts of voluptuous celebs like myself is the kind of evil that Hitler tried to instill…” Quipped O’Donnell. “I’ve not felt this level of rejection since my hand last got trapped in a tube of Pringles.”

Self appointed ‘Queen’ Latifah added, “I’ve been taking nude pictures of myself for years and not once have I had my accounts hacked. I’ve not even got a password…”

Nude celeb hacker, Egor Bergowycz added, “I’ve received login details and a substantially valued cheque from a syndicate of PR agents for fat Hollywood actresses who want their pics to go viral. All I have to do is upload them to Reddit…”

“I’m not gonna bother.”

Keith Smith

Keith Smith

Reporter at Newspoof
Keith Smith is the vanilla reporter with the blandest name in England, probably the world. He thinks a lot of himself and god knows why. He's a dick.
Keith Smith