Internet Trolls are all Actually Just Bored City Bankers

Banker Trolling at Computer

According to a recent web analytics report from stealyourdata.com, the majority of internet trolls are actually just bored city bankers whose other leisure activities no longer interest them.

“I used to pay women use me as a human darts board. That was fun for a while. But then I found out about internet trolling…” comments stock broker, Dan Basturd.

“There is nothing more satisfying than trivialising a philanthropic article with my other trolling colleagues. Singling out emerging athletes or other idolised individuals who don’t know how to handle the attention is a particular favourite of mine.”

“The pinnacle of the troll game is when you can make someone cry and / or breakdown in some way.”

Dan is part of a larger network of trolls called, ‘Team Well ‘Ard Trolls’ (T.W.A.Ts) and have been trolling the internet since 2009.

“Trolling has helped me immensely as I had become extremely bored and frustrated with the conveyor belt of Ferraris, super-models and cocaine which was once part of my life. I now feel great fulfillment in knowing that I have made some other persons life a little bit more miserable, online.”

“Can I just add? If you want to support our cause then you can donate here – pleasedonate.com/helpthetwats.”

Keith Smith

Keith Smith

Reporter at Newspoof
Keith Smith is the vanilla reporter with the blandest name in England, probably the world. He thinks a lot of himself and god knows why. He's a dick.
Keith Smith