People Arbitrarily Using “LOL” Probably Pedophiles, Warns Police

A monumental increase in the number of people arbitrarily using the word “LOL” online has prompted a stern warning from local Police authorities stating, “Watch out. They’re probably paedos.”

Shocking exponential increases and evidence of flagrant online uses of the acronym “LOL”, in situations where the abbreviation is completed uncalled for, have lead to widespread interventions by global Police forces.

A spokesman from the Texas Police Department recently stated, “Chat rooms, online article comments, forums or social media channels; wherever you may be online, if you come across someone using the “Laugh Out Loud” acronym, in a situation that doesn’t call for it, then appease the second amendment right there and blow that electronic device to smithereens.”

According to some reports, children as young as fifteen are repeatedly becoming the targets of grooming by “excessive ‘LOL’ers”. We found this shocking interaction on the comments section of The Daily Mail:

paedo lol

Digital Psychologist, Butternut Goochinhaler, remarked disapprovingly on these revelations, stating, “What could possibly be so funny that would result in someone using 4 LOLs in a single, broken sentence…?”

“I think we’re dealing with a new type of mega paedo here. The kind that would make Josef Fritzel and Bill Cosby’s love child look like some type of Mother Theresa figure.”

Keith Smith

Keith Smith

Reporter at Newspoof
Keith Smith is the vanilla reporter with the blandest name in England, probably the world. He thinks a lot of himself and god knows why. He's a dick.
Keith Smith