Man Inadvertently Shows This Morning’s Porn To Hundreds Of Commuters

Man Phone Embarrassed

A London man suffered indescribable embarrassment this morning as he opened up his smartphone browser, only to display the hardcore pornographic imagery he had been thrashing his fleshy phallus to that very morning.

“They all saw it.” Commented Ben Nevis, whose name has been changed for legal reasons.

“I just didn’t see it coming. There should be some type of fail safe on these phones to prevent this happening. There’s ‘silent mode’, well why the hell isn’t there ‘wank mode’!?”

The incident occurred at a jam packed tube station as Mr. Nevis was surrounded by other morning commuters.

“It’s just my luck. I honestly could have jumped in front of the train had I not been two rows of humans away from the tracks.”

“And trust this to be the morning I decide to watch midget fetish porn.”

Dakota Fannycycle

Dakota Fannycycle

Reporter at Newspoof
Dakota Fannycycle is our far too industrious reporter from the United States of America. She can typically be found at her desk, furiously writing nonsense at unfathomable rates. In her spare time, she sits silently in a dark room for 12 hours, waiting for work to start again.
Dakota Fannycycle