Alex Turner’s new t-shirt line was apparently a key factor in forcing Kanye West’s ‘Ye’-brand when he confirmed he would be changing his name in a bid to levy favor …
Bartender Surges in Social Media Popularity After Changing Bar Jobs
A 32 Year Old Man based in the crap end of Stoke Newington, North London has surged in popularity after moving bar jobs. The middle aged average bartender has switched …
LinkedIn Business Model: We Took The Very Worst People And Said, “Here You Go…”
An exclusive inside look at LinkedIn’s business model from a former CEO has revealed that the business social network has always been intentionally looking to harbor the world’s very best …
Conservatives To Continue To CAPITALIZE IMPORTANT POINTS On Social Media In 2018
THIS IS WHAT VALIDATES MY PRESENCE ONLINE. It worked in 2017 and by the grace of the lord it will probably work in 2018 too.
Dad’s Farting Finally Subsides Following Christmas Dinner
“There was a deal on Brussel Sprouts that was just too good to turn down.” Said Mum. The sentence struck dread in the entire Smith family who knew that their …
“Standing And Watching” Is A Critical Bystander Response In An Emergency, Says Red Cross
“It is imperative that after witnessing a heart attack or some other terrible affliction, that the general public know how to effectively form a motionless circle around the injured party; …
White House Efficiency Dictates Trump’s Next Son Be Named “Douchebag”
No longer can Donald Trump’s naming conventions for his seemingly never ending conveyor belt of offspring be allowed to flirt with the peripheries of subtlety and metaphor. Now that the …
Girlfriend Perplexed Boyfriend Doesn’t Know Ending To Movie Neither Have Seen Before
Amanda Taylor, girlfriend of two years to Scott Turner, was massively perplexed last night that Scott didn’t know key plot developments of a movie neither of them had seen before …
People Arbitrarily Using “LOL” Probably Pedophiles, Warns Police
A monumental increase in the number of people arbitrarily using the word “LOL” online has prompted a stern warning from local Police authorities stating, “Watch out. They’re probably paedos.” Shocking …
Local Man Offers Homeless Person Look Of Sympathy In Lieu Of Cash
Whilst making his way to the barbers, local man Robert Gardener today resorted to offering a homeless person a look of fake and exaggerated sympathy in lieu of the cash he kindly requested. “I …