Author: Brock Lee
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Bartender Surges in Social Media Popularity After Changing Bar Jobs
A 32 Year Old Man based in the crap end of Stoke Newington, North London has surged in popularity after moving bar jobs. The middle aged average bartender has switched one up market overpriced Soho bar for another and received a puzzling amount of attention. A move which was quoted by a source close to…
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BNP Leader Left Red-Faced as pet Bulldog Turns out to be French
Racist berk Nick Griffin has been ridiculed by hate-spewers all over England today, as it has been revealed his pet dog is in fact a ‘French’ bulldog. Griffin believed the beloved pet was a British Bulldog, which he bought to make him look patriotic and hard. He reportedly purchased the puppy in good faith from…
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George W Bush Declares Overthrowing Saddam was a ‘Whoopsie!’
Full-time oxygen thief George W. Bush has joked that the war in Iraq was “stupid now I think about it”. The retired two-term president spoke from his ranch in Texas this week, as violence continues to intensify in Iraq, with ISIS forces slaughtering hundreds of innocent Iraqi’s in cold blood. He mused that “it turns…
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Magic Johnson Latest Ebola Victim; Cured in Under an Hour
It has been announced overnight that professional tall person and Paul Daniels fanboy, Earvin “Magic” Johnson contracted the killer Ebola virus after a recent visit to Africa. Doctors were called to Johnson’s palatial mansion located high in the Hollywood hills yesterday afternoon and he was transported to a private hospital on the outskirts of LA.…
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Cliff Richard Actually Hates Tennis and Spends Wimbledon Staring at Ball Boys
Overnight rumours have surfaced that geriatric bible enthusiast Cliff Richard actually hates tennis because of a harrowing experience he had as a child. Sources tell Newspoof that as a 5-year-old, Cliff was perusing a local sports store when a bucket of over 1000 tennis balls tipped off a shelf and landed on his head. Although…
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Sofia Vergara: “I’m a Cyborg Designed by Teenage Boys”
Modern family sexpot Sofia Vergara has finally come clean about her genetically advanced appearance, admitting: “Yep, I’m a cyborg. Did you really think a humanoid could have my boobs, arse and face? Not on your nelly sunshine.” In a new no-holds-barred book, “More than just circuitry”, Sofia reveals how she was designed and built by…
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President Obama Tells U.S Congress to ‘Sod Off’
After having every serious idea for change blocked in congress by Republicans, US President Barack Obama has officially told them all to “sod off”. A source close to the president says Mr. Obama is “fed up” and “can’t be arsed with it anymore”. The usually upbeat ragamuffin has been visibly down in recent weeks, with…