Category: Business
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Woman Dies After Making Final Pointless Scroll Down Facebook News Feed
A British woman sadly died today after making a fatally pointless scroll down her Facebook news feed. Early toxicology reports indicate that a combination of sheer boredom and self loathing ultimately contributed to her demise. Sally Tinglegooch from Peterborough had reportedly taken the day off from work after feeling slightly unwell, only to be presented…
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Lonsdale Directors Thank Eastern European Community For Record Breaking Profits
Directors at sportswear brand, Lonsdale, have publicly thanked the Eastern European community for solely engineering their business to a year of record breaking profits, through the relentless and perpetual purchasing of only Lonsdale branded clothing. Special thanks also went out from Lonsdale to David Cameron and the coalition for opening the doors to Bulgaria and…
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‘Sydney Siege’; Retail Giants Battle For Sponsorship Rights To Hostage Situation
In the wake of the news that a suspected IS affiliated gunman held hostages in a cafe in Sydney’s CBD, retail Giants Wal-Mart, Amazon & Target have all been quick to bid for exclusive sponsorship of the siege. Whilst many people across Australia and the rest of the world have been compassionate and loving in…
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156th Retail CEO Praised This Year for Recognising ‘Digital is the Future’ in 2014
Yet another CEO of a large conglomerate retail firm has been wheeled out of their temperature controlled lair to announce that, “Digital is the future for global retail”, only to be as quickly rolled back from whence they came. In this year’s 156th identical piece of PR for PR firm, Shit’s Too Easy, David Boshchild, CEO…