Category: Health
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Dad’s Farting Finally Subsides Following Christmas Dinner
“There was a deal on Brussel Sprouts that was just too good to turn down.” Said Mum. The sentence struck dread in the entire Smith family who knew that their father’s penchant for all things fibre would wreak havoc upon their Christmas celebrations. The chilling reminder of the “black bean Christmas breakfast fiasco” of the…
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“Standing And Watching” Is A Critical Bystander Response In An Emergency, Says Red Cross
“It is imperative that after witnessing a heart attack or some other terrible affliction, that the general public know how to effectively form a motionless circle around the injured party; offering no respite or assistance until the emergency services do or do not arrive.”
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Mental Health Foundation Reclassify Lunatic as Person Who Uses Facebook as Diary
The Mental Health Foundation today reclassified their definition of the word ‘lunatic’ (the highest grade of mental) to encapsulate users of Facebook who seem to think the social platform is a diary. Uses of Facebook as an online diary, e.g where a user talks about mundane tasks they have completed that day or intend to complete…
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Magic Johnson Latest Ebola Victim; Cured in Under an Hour
It has been announced overnight that professional tall person and Paul Daniels fanboy, Earvin “Magic” Johnson contracted the killer Ebola virus after a recent visit to Africa. Doctors were called to Johnson’s palatial mansion located high in the Hollywood hills yesterday afternoon and he was transported to a private hospital on the outskirts of LA.…