Category: Science
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Jeremy Clarkson’s Vile Racist Smog Causes UK To Miss Solar Eclipse
Jeremy Clarkson’s unjustifiably overinflated ego has been spewing a putrid racist smog which has caused the vast majority of the UK to miss out on the rare solar eclipse phenomenon this morning. The unique and wondrous marvel of the solar eclipse, which gives all people an opportunity to reflect on the beauty of our solar…
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Listening to Adverts in the Womb ‘Soothing’ for Baby, say Big Businesses
A new study from the Office of Federal Understanding & Capitalist Kinship (O.F.U.C.K) has concluded that women should play advertisements against their tummies during pregnancy as it is very ‘soothing’ for the baby. “We tested the effects of playing advertising messages over a number of years on both mother and baby and the results were…
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Sofia Vergara: “I’m a Cyborg Designed by Teenage Boys”
Modern family sexpot Sofia Vergara has finally come clean about her genetically advanced appearance, admitting: “Yep, I’m a cyborg. Did you really think a humanoid could have my boobs, arse and face? Not on your nelly sunshine.” In a new no-holds-barred book, “More than just circuitry”, Sofia reveals how she was designed and built by…