Category: Travel
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Almost 95% Of Tube Commuters Are Ugly, New Report Confirms
A new report from the office of the Alignment of Rail Services and Envy (A.R.S.E) has confirmed that 95% of London’s tube commuters are ugly. The study took 5 men and 5 women from a local modelling agency, stuck them at the exit of Oxford Circus station and asked them a simple, “Would you shag…
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London Considering Numerous Human Traffic Measures Around City
Boris Johnson today announced that, amidst the ongoing negotiations surrounding the pedestrianisation of London’s city centre, installing pedestrian only traffic lights and other pedestrian traffic safety systems would be “largely unavoidable”. The Human Cattle Project, as it has been coined, would be aimed at minimising the sheer volume of Human Cattle on London’s city streets…
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Train Companies Perform Satanic Ritual to Evoke Icelandic Volcano
Train conglomerates across Europe have recently returned from a mass satanic ritual at the peak of the Dyngjujokull Glacier where they were trying to evoke the infamous Volcano into eruption. Hundreds of share holders and directors of some of Europe’s largest train firms, all came up with the idea after having waited four years since…